GIVES. YOU. HELL.

GOD, YOU'RE FULL OF BULLSHIT!

munafik banget kamu tuh! bilang2 mau ngomong, terakhirnya malah di blow off. emang siapa yang nggak sebel kalo digituin? YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE.
bukannya aku marah, oh not at all. awalnya.

aku dateng ke kamu itu dengan alasan baik2, ya mas. mau MINTA MAAF. tapi apa reaksimu?

"udah, aku gak mau denger. whatever lah."

ya sakit nggak sih? COBA KALO AKU CEWEKMU, YANG NOTABENE SKRG LG MARAHAN SAMA KAMU. terus kamu mau minta maaf sama aku. dan aku bilang, "udah, aku gak mau denger. whatever lah." WWRD?

pikirin konsekuensinya? oh, udah pasti lah mas. kalo kamu?

SOK TAU! BENER2 SOK TAU KAMU.

jujur aja, selama ini aku nganggep kamu sebagai salah satu temen terdekatku. temenku yang paling deket malahan. sampe2 cewekmu sms aku suruh jauhin kamu --" [thanks for expalining to her anw haha]

aku cerita semuanya sama kamu! entah itu masalah cowok atau temen, atau cuma sekedar curhat gakjelas tentang guru yang nyebelin. i trust you. aku punya alasan yang kuat dibalik semua cerita2ku yang blak2an sama kamu, that you're my bestfriend. walopun kamu mungkin nggak nganggep aku sahabatmu. buat aku, kamu bener2 temen yang baik. sahabat yang baik.

tapi apa susahnya sih buat seorang sahabat to show some respect? dikiranya aku cuman manfaatin kehadiranmu dlm situasiku skrg ini buat jadi seorang pendengar? well i'm sorry to dissapoint you, the answer's NO.

mungkin emang menurutmu aku kurang meyakinkan, but please, if anything goes wrong, just speak to me. kalo cewekmu mutusin kamu, bilang sama aku. kalo temenmu si A itu cursing kamu lagi, at least let me know. biar nggak kayak kemaren, masa aku tau kalo kamu marahan sama cewekmu itu dari temenmu kelas sebelah? itu aja pas nggak sengaja ketemu di dpn rumah. sementara aku? we've been friends for at least two years now.

you know i can change for you.


i trust you. would it be too hard for you to trust me back?

Asher Book fever part 1-Try

If I walk would you run? If I stop would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say, so you don't leave me

The world is catching up to you while you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move
Cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe I'm not ready but

I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If I sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till I'm gone, oh, how we push and pull
If I give you my heart, would you just play the part?
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful

Am I catching up to you while you're running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth
Cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe I'm not ready but

I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
I will try for your love
I can hide up above

If I walk would you run? If I stop would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?

semua demi PADMANABA!

eh sumpaaaaaaaaaaaaah kelas 3 bikin tepar. beneran. kalo gak percaya coba deh kamu gantiin aku di kelasku sekarang.
udah banyak pr, banyak tugas, banyak ulangan. udah gitu, masih ditambah les bimbel 3 kali seminggu, senin rabu jumat jam 4 sore-jam 6 malem. terus kalo aku sekarang ditambah latian vokal grup 3 kali seminggu, selasa kamis jumat, selasa kamis jam 4-jam 6, jumatnya pulang sekolah. itu juga belom kalo jadwal latiannya diganti hari minggu atau sabtu gitu. terus ditambah juga sama les2 gakjelas dari sekolah yang udah mulai menjamur, tiap senin-kamis dr pulang sekolah sampe jam 2! astaga, aku heran deh kok dulu kakak2 kelasku pada bisa lulus dengan nilai di atas rata2 dan masih hidup dan sehat wal afiat. judging by my schedule sekarang ini, besok pas lulus (AMIN!) aku udah jadi mayat berjalan deh. huhuhu.

baru minggu pertama ini aja aku udah tepar! aku langsung sakit panas-batuk-pilek nih, bayangin aja deh kalo udah minggu ketiga atau empat. mati muda aku --"

kata tentorku di primagama tempat aku les bimbel sih, sekarang ini udah bulan september sementara aku UN antara akhir maret atau awal april. berarti kan kira2 tinggal setengah taun lagi! jadi kata tentorku itu, kita udah harus mulai dipanasin gitu. jadi kalo pas pelajaran minimal nyatet atau merhatiin lah, kalo ada ulangan belajar, kalo ada tugas langsung dikerjain biar waktu yang lain buat istirahat dan refreshing. terus yang paling penting, udah mulai tau tujuan sekolah kita ke mana.

"ojo digas sek, yo dek!" katanya gitu.

soalnya kalo udah semangat banget mulai dari sekarang, pas besok UNnya kita malah tepar soalnya siap2nya udah terlalu awal gitulah, malah itu yang njatuhin kita besok. waaaaaaaah moga2 aja aku bisa ngontrol keadaanku dulu. udah stres aku! padahal ini termasuk belum apa2 lho. belom try out, TPM, apalagi UNnya sendiri. waaaaaaaa D;

aku yang paling takut terutama kalo aku nggak dapet sekolah. apalagi karena aku nolak beasiswa ke jepangku itu, i just don't think i'm ready yet hehe. pengen ngerasain SMA di indonesia yang ancur dan penuh korupsi ini wkwk.

of course, sebagai anak SMP yang normal, aku mau masuk SMA 3 Jogja! i'm trying as hard as i can, belajar maksimal kalo ada ulangan, berjuang ngerjain tugas sebaik2nya dan merhatiin kalo pas pelajaran dan les. tapi ternyata banyak temen yang mau masuk 3B tercinta juga. i've got competition. dan yang susah lagi, kartu keluargaku itu sleman! ugh kuota sialan, bitch :P

dan dipikir2, rela aja sih aku jadi mayat berjalan, mati muda, atau nambah minus sebejibun banyaknya. asal aku bisa masuk padmanaba :)

i give you my everything, PADMANABA! wait for me :)

perpisahan

ingat saat kita tertawa bersama ?
saat kita bercanda .
kita tak menyadari suatu saat ,
tawa itu akan hilang .
kita tak menyangka
tangis yang menggantikannya .

sapaan ceria beubah menjadi lambaian perpisahan .
senyum hangat saat bertemu berubah
menjadi senyuman yang menahan tangis .

mata yang sembab
tangan yang gemetar
suara yang tercekat
seolah mengatakan ,
"selamat tinggal"

just another story

JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME . LEAVE ME ALONE . I NO LONGER WAIT FOR YOU , SO BE GLAD .

susah emang ngelupain seseorang yang bener2 berarti buat kita :)

aku bingung apa harus seneng atau sedih waktu liat dia udah gak peduli sama aku .

i realize this feeling has grown .

but then , suddenly love has no meaning anymore .

there's always more to life than love itslef .

hidup emang gak selalu tentang cinta .

but it doesn't mean we don't need love to live .

tapi cinta gak selalu segampang itu .

nggak selalu sesempurna itu .

sure , we get hurt because of love .

we get blinded by love .

i was blinded by love .

and i realized , you were more than just a friend to me .

mataku selalu mengikuti tiap gerakanmu .

telingaku diam-diam mencari suaramu .

i always knew you were there for me .

what i didn't know , was that i am willing to be there for you .

i am your everything , for you are mine .



PS. i'm sorry for making you wait so long :')

feeling numb at the moment

yeah . i cant actually feel the pain , but i know it's there haha .

just cut the crap , skip it to the part where  i die .

or at least get amnesia .

but i think i'd rather die haha

randomly confusing

penyakit sepak bola sedang menjamuuuuuuuur ! hahaha gimana , pada ngikutin bola dengan serius gak nih taun ini ? kayak sodaraku dong , sampe ngeprint kertas jadwal pertandingannya trus bagan2 yg kosong diisi dengan tekun ! hehehe . sekolah baginya whatsoever tp kalo soal bola beda lagi deh wkakak .

ujian akhir udah lewat , dan dengan bangga aku teriakkan AKU RANKING 5 DI KELAS DENGAN MURNI SEMUWAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!! tau gak aku sama sekali gak nyontek lho waktu ujian akhir kmrn hehehe . buktinya aku bs masuk 10 besar hanya dg kemampuanku sendiri kok , jd apa gunanya nyontek ? hehehe duh I'M SO DARN PROUD OF MYSELF !!! *pat my own head*

hmm mungkin kalian pnsrn sama gimana nasib persahabatanku sama T ..... juni kemaren tanggal 4 kita BAIKAN !!!!!!!!!! hahaha alhamdulillah deh . dia sih (kayaknya) udah maafin aku , but i don't think that we can be best friends again . aaaaah yg penting udah baikaaaaaaaaaaan !!!!! besok tanggal 4 kita mau Jogja Fair bareng sama elisa , anggi yg baru balik dr Qatar , sm temen sdku atikah . yah aku gtau sih T ikut beneran atau gak tp kayaknya iya deh moga2 aja hehe .

besok tanggal 7 aku sama keluargaku mau ke malang . percaya gak ? kita mau naik GUNUNG BROMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gila , ini liburan kan harusnya buat istirahat , yg ada besok pas masuk sekolah aku tepar deh habis naik gunung -..- btw ada yg tau gak berapa tinggi gunung bromo ? biar ada persiapan dikit gitu waktu besok huhuhu so sad :'(

ehhh apa lagi ya yg baru ? banyaaaaaaaaaaaak banget ! mau nulisin semuany tp males .

oya , udah ada yg liat eclipse belom ?! kalo iya , filmnya bagus gak ? aku g akan tanya "gimana ceritanya" soalnya aku udah baca bukunya 3 kali hehehe . kalo ada yg belom nonton .... AYO NONTON BARENG AKU !!! aaaaaaaah i'm dying to watch that movie , nyari waktu gak pernah ada huhuhu :(

udahan yaaa ini laptotnya mau dipake kakakku bye :)

43 Things A Girl Wishes Their Boyfriend Knew

1. When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

2. When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.

3. When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.

4. When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

5. When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

6. When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

7. When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

8. When she ignores you, give her your attention.

9. When she pulls away, pull her back.

10. When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

11. When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

12. When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

13. When she’s scared, protect her.

14. When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

15. When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

16. When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

17. When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

18. When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

19. When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

20. When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

21. When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

22. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

23. When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

24. Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

25. Don’t let her have the last word.

26. Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

27. Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

28. Argue that she is the best girl ever.

29. When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

30. When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

31. Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

32. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

33. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

34. Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

35. Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

36. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

37. Let her into your world.

38. Let her wear your clothes.

39. When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her.

40. Let her know she’s important.

41. Kiss her in the pouring rain.

42. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”.

43. After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.